Annoying Orange HFA: Clementine's Day/Transcript


 * (This episode begins at Daneboe's Grocery Market)
 * Orange: Great decorating, gang. This'll be the best Valentine's dance ever!
 * Nerville: (Sighs) Well, uh, have fun, guys.
 * Orange: Nerville, aren't you coming to the dance?
 * Nerville: Nah. Valentine's Day never really works for me. I always get my hopes up that I'm gonna meet the girl of my dreams.
 * Passion: Aw. It could happen.
 * Nerville: And we're fall in love and sail over the oceans on a flying doom turtle named David.
 * Passion: Slighty less realistic, but still.
 * Nerville: And then we'll settle in the Galapagos, where we'll teach miniature alpacas to walk on two legs and start a dance troupe.
 * Passion: Okay, well, I doubt that'll happen.
 * Neville (crying): I know! Valentine's Day is so disappointing. (Sobbing)
 * Peach: Here's your chance, Ginger. Just be so charming to Pear that he.. (shrieks) asks you to the dance.
 * Ginger: Okay, okay, but... what if I don't know how to be charming?
 * Peach: It's easy. Just find everything about him completely fascinating. And whenever you do, don't mention weird roots growing out of your back. Now go!
 * Ginger: Uh, hi, Pear... You're looking very... fascinating today.
 * Pear: Oh. Hey.
 * Ginger: "Hey." That's a fascinating word choice from a fascinating fellow.
 * Pear: Are you okay, Ginger?
 * Ginger: Whoa. What a penetrating question. You're so deep and complex.
 * Pear: Um, I think I need to go.
 * Ginger: No, you can't... not... no, not until... not until you need to... Look at my back roots!
 * Pear: (Groans)
 * Ginger: Look at them!
 * Pear: Ugh, looks great. Got to run. Bajoink!
 * Passion: Ginger, are you okay?
 * Ginger: That was awful. I totally ruined my chances with Pear.
 * Orange: Don't feel bad. I'm sure it could re-peared. (Laughs)
 * Ginger: Maybe. But I'm still the only one without a date to the dance.
 * Marshmallow: Not the only one.
 * Grapefruit: That's right. Marshmallow doesn't believe in dating.
 * Marshmallow: Love was invented by corporations to sell greeting cards!
 * Passion: Don't listen to Marshmallow. Romantic feelings are great, even if you never get to express them.
 * Orange: Yeah, like if you have a crush on someone, it might be be better never ti tell them at all. (Giggles)
 * Passion: Exactly. And avoid every chance to be straightforward.
 * Ginger: Are you talking about each other?
 * Passion: Orange and I are-are... we're only...
 * Orange: We're just friends!
 * Midget Apple: Is it just me, or do you guys feel oddly fed up right now?
 * Ginger: I feel a lot of things., and only one thing can make it better.
 * Ice Cream: Oh, no. Another one of these people who want to eat their feelings. You won't take your self-pity out on us. Back off!
 * Ginger: Fine. Geez.
 * Ice Cream: I despise Valentine's Day.
 * Ginger: I'm so sad, I could practically hear my heart breaking.
 * Clementine the Cupid: (Gasps) Don't tell me you stepped on my glasses.
 * Ginger: Sorry.
 * Clementine the Cupid: You're sorry? Well, I'll be sure to tell that to all the people I was supposed to help find soul mates today.
 * Ginger: Wait. You make people fall in love?
 * Clementine the Cupid: Duh. I'm Clementine the Cupid. Since I can't read now, I need you to take this and look up my assignments under "Daneboe's Grocery Store."
 * Ginger: You can't read this? Whoa, love really is-- blind. How on the nose.
 * Clementine the Cupid: Technically, love has astigmatism. But I see what you're getting at.
 * Ginger: "Dinner Roll and Breakfast Pastry."
 * Breakfast Pastry: Oh, yeah? Then why is it called "the most important meal of the day"?
 * Dinner Roll: Please, any meal that includes toaster pastries can't be taken seriously!
 * Clementine the Cupid: Mm-hmm. Hand me an arrow-- a pink one.
 * Ginger: A little to the left Eh, more to the right. Now fire.
 * (Clementine the Cupid use Pink Love Arrow and shots Dinner Roll)
 * Dinner Roll: And you know what else I think? (Deep voice) I think you're the flakiest woman I've ever seen.
 * Breakfast Pastry: (Gasps) Be still, my heart.
 * Ginger: Whoa. It actually worked!
 * Clementine the Cupid: Yeah, yeah. No time to celebrate. I've got to get new glasses and then race to my next mission.
 * Ginger: No, you can't go yet. There's uh, there's one there name on your list.
 * Clementine the Cupid: There is?
 * Ginger: Uh, yeah. Come on!
 * Lil' Squishy: What up, Daneboe's Grocery Store? I'm your host, Lil' Squishy. You're ready to fall in love tonight?
 * Male Voice: I want to fall in love! All right, let's do this thing.
 * Lil' Squishy: Whoo! Get your love on, people. Whoo! Oh, hold up. I've been handed an announcement. It says, "Love is just a dirty trick played on us to assure the propagation of the spices." Hey, wrote this?
 * Marshmallow: (Giggles) Subversive propaganda. Yay!
 * Orange: (Nervous giggling) Uh, so, Passion. There's something I want to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago.
 * Passion: Yeah? About what?
 * Orange: Um, about us.
 * Passion: (Shrieks)
 * Orange: Are you okay?
 * Passion: Yeah, totally. Just keep talking.
 * Orange: Anyway, I've been having all these feelings.
 * Passion: (Shrieks)
 * Clementine the Cupid: So, this guy Pear-- the scroll said his match is someone named Ginger. I don't remember this being on the list.
 * Ginger: Um, uh-huh, yeah, Ginger. She's cool. She's got a weird back-root thing, but you'd like her. Now, uh, point it a little more to the left.
 * Orange: So, what I'm trying to say is that I like... I like...
 * Ginger: Fire.
 * (Clementine the Cupid use Pink Love Arrow and shots Orange)
 * Orange: (Gasps) ...Ginger.
 * Passion: What?!
 * Ginger: You missed. Find another one.
 * (Clementine the Cupid use Pink Love Arrow and shots Grapefruit)
 * Grapefruit: (Grunts) Oh. Why, why, hello, Ginger.
 * Ginger: Again, again, again.
 * (Clementine the Cupid use Pink Love Arrow and shots Banana)
 * Banana: (Grunts) Ginger. Ha-cha-cha!
 * Ginger: Again, again, again.
 * (Clementine the Cupid use Pink Love Arrow and shots Midget Apple)
 * Midget Apple: Ginger.
 * Ginger: Hurry, he's getting away!
 * Clementine the Cupid: Did it hit?
 * Ginger: I don't know. I've got to go close range to be sure.
 * Clementine the Cupid: Wait. Hello? Where are you? (Grunts)
 * Pear: Ginger?
 * Ginger: Pear.
 * Pear: I was just looking for you.
 * Ginger: You were?
 * Pear: Yeah. I was gonna ask you to dance. (Echoing) ...ask you to dance. ...ask you to dance.
 * Ginger: Whoa.
 * Pear: So what do you say? Dance with me?
 * Ginger: I say...
 * Orange: Never! She's dancing with me.
 * Ginger: What? Why would we dance?
 * Orange: Because I'm in love with you! And you're in love with me!
 * Ginger: Whoa, no, no! I'm not. I'm not.
 * Grapefruit: Yeah, she's in love with me. Right?
 * Midget Apple: No, me!
 * Pear: Ginger, is this true?
 * Ginger: No, Pear, listen, there's like an explanation for all of this.
 * Passion: Explain it then, Ginger.
 * Peach: Yeah, why did you steal our dates? (Growls)
 * Ginger: Sounds crazy, but these arrows can make people fall in love. Make have shot some of you by mistake. I'm sorry.
 * Peach (Demonic voice): Give us those magic arrows!
 * All: (Clamoring)
 * Passion: Give us those magic arrows!
 * Banana: Give me those arrows, give it!
 * Onion: Ah! Give me, hey, ow!
 * Banana: Right over here! I want that!
 * Passion: Time to set things straight.
 * (Passion use Pink Love Arrow and shots Pumpkin)
 * Pumpkin: Huh?
 * Passion: Uh-oh. (Screaming)
 * Pumpkin: Marry me! (Chuckles) We'll live with my mom!
 * Ginger: Oh.
 * Grapefruit: I love you so much, Ginger! (Peach use Pink Love Arrow and shots Grapefruit) I love you so much, Peach!
 * Peach: I love you so much, Bag of Chips. (Giggles)
 * Bag of Chips: All right! (Gasps)
 * Female Voice: Yeah!
 * Bag of Chips: (Laughing exoitedly)
 * Marshmallow: Whoop! Hyah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I laugh in the face of your tyranny. (Giggles)
 * Midget Apple: Cupecake, our love will never die.
 * (Radish use Pink Love Arrow and shots Midget Apple)
 * Midget Apple: Radish, our love will never die.
 * (Cupecake use Pink Love Arrow and shots Midget Apple)
 * Midget Apple: No, our love will never die. (Grunting) (Giggles)
 * Banana: Oh! Ah! Ooh! Ooh! Ow! I don't want to feel anymore! (Sobbing)
 * Ginger: Oh, this is awful! It's all my fault!
 * Fruit: Uh, am I really seeing this, or is my astigmatism playing tricks on me?
 * Ginger: Astigmatism? Whoa, light bulb! That's it!
 * Fruit: Hey, what-what are you...? I need those. (Exclaims) Hey. How many bowls of punch does this party need?
 * Ginger: I'm sorry I lied Clementine.
 * Clementine the Cupid: I've seen people do way crazier stuff the name of love. Besides, this is exactly why we bring pink and white arrows.
 * (Clementine the Cupid use White Arrows and shots Banana, Grapefruit, Bag of Chips, Peach, Passion, Orange, Midget Apple, Coconut and Pumpkin)
 * Fruit: I don't know what happened?
 * All: (Chattering)
 * Orange: I've been pollinated against my will.
 * Pumpkin: (Shudders)
 * Clementine the Cupid: That should do it. Does everything back to normal?
 * Ginger: Uh, let me check. Hey, Orange and Passion, do you have crushes on each other?
 * Passion: No.
 * Orange: What? Why would you even ask us that?
 * Passion: Stop looking at us. Stop.
 * Orange: We're just friends, we're just friends!
 * Ginger: Back to normal.
 * Clementine the Cupid: Then... let's party!
 * Crowd: (Cheering)
 * Lil' Squishy: All right, people. Let's do this love thing. Whoo!
 * Passion: Whoo! Yeah! Let's get this party started!
 * Ginger: Hey, Pear. Just wanted to say sorry I hit you that arrow.
 * Pear: What? You didn't shoot me.
 * Ginger: I did not... what? Are you... could you... what? (Panting) You mean you always wanted to dance with me?
 * Pear: I've been looking forward to it for a while now. So, shall we?
 * Marshmallow: Don't do it, Ginger! The deadly hand of love has you n its clutches! Flee! Flee! Flee!
 * (Clementine the Cupid use Pink Arrow and shots Marshmallow)
 * Marshmallow: Oh, whoa. Oh! I love--love! '
 * Clementine the Cupid: Just one more loose end to tie up.
 * Nerville: (Sighs) Ice cream. I like all this ice cream. Cookie Dough-- I like Cookie Dough ice cream. I like Delicio-Berry ice cream.
 * Ice Cream: (Growling)
 * Nerville: I like Chocolate, mmm. Blue-- I like Blue a lot. Invisible-- oh, that's wonderful--
 * Ice Cream: Huh?
 * Nerville: It's hard to find it's always sold out. Or is it? It's hard to tell, really.  I like Yummy-Tast... (Clementine the Cupid use Pink Love Arrow and shots Nerville) (Grunts) Mmm. Love--that favor. Hello, girl. What you doing later? To the Galapagos, David! On the wings of love! (Laughs) Whoo! Yeah! Brain freeze, brain freeze. (Gasps) Oh. You are cold, girl.
 * Ice Cream: I hate Valentine's Day.
 * Nerville: (Laughs) This is the third-best day of my life! (Whoops) Yes! To the Galapagos, David! We'll teach miniature alpacas to walk on two legs and start a dance troupe. (echoing) dance troupe. ...dance troupe. One, and two, good. No, no, Rachel, Rachel. (Making goofy noises) Al-packing the heat. Don't hit your... (Groans) All the way down. (Sighs) Give yourselves a hand.
 * Alpacas: (Groans)
 * [End of Clementine's Day]