Annoying Orange: Fruit for All/Transcript

Voice (as M.G.): Dole Fruit is proud to present everyone's favorite game show, Fruit For All! And, here's our host, Mister Apple Trebek!

Apple Trebek: Ah, thanks, M.G. And thank you for tuning in to the only game that puts your fruit knowledge to the test. Now, let's meet our contestants. From the tropics of South America, it's Banana!

(applause)

Banana: Uh, hi, mom.

Apple Trebek: And, let's all say aloha to Contestant number two: Pineapple!

(applause)

Pineapple: Hey! Good to be here!

Apple Trebek: Don't worry folks. We're not related. (audience laughs)

Apple Trebek: And finally, hailing from the kitchen, it's-

Orange: Hey! Hey, Apple, look! I'm on TV! (laughs with the audience) (title card appears)

Apple Trebek: Okay, lets get to it, Banana, get us started.

Banana: Okay, how about...

(buzzer rings)

Orange: Way to go, Pineapple. (laughs with the audience)

Pineapple: (sighs) Dude, it's not your turn.

Banana: Uh, okay, I'll take...

Orange: Ooh, Ooh, undershorts! Pick undershorts! (audience laughs)

Banana: What?

Apple Trebek: Orange, it's not your turn and the name of the category is "file under sports."

Orange: What is wedgie? (laughs with audience)

Banana: (groans) Sports for $400.

Apple Trebek: This yellow fruit, a favourite among athletes is loaded with potassium, B6, fiber and complex carbohyd...

(buzzer rings)

Apple Trebek: Orange?

Orange: What is that thing on your face? It looks like your mouth grew an extra eyebrow. (laughs with audience)

(buzzer rings wrong)

Apple Trebek: Incorrect!

Orange: (groans)

(buzzer rings)

Pineapple: The answer is: banana!

(buzzer rings correct)

Apple Trebek: Correct! (applause)

Orange: No way! It's too fuzzy to be a banana.

(audience laughs)

Pineapple: Okay Apple, lets go with 'fresh remedies' for $1,000.

Apple Trebek: Bromelain, an enzyme found in this fruit, appears to reduce inflammation.

(buzzer rings)

Pineapple: That would be me, Pineapple!

(buzzer rings correct)

Apple Trebek: Correct again. (applause)

Orange: Hey! No fair, When are you gonna ask some questions about me?

Pineapple: Okay, let's go with 'silly citrus' for a $1,000.

(close up on silly citrus section on gameboard)

(audience laughs)

Orange: Ooh, ooh, I wanna use my lifeline!

(audience laughs)

Apple Trebek:You know what? You don't have one. That's the other show.

Orange: You're telling me this now?

(audience laughs)

(flips to kitchen scene)

Midget Apple: Um, are you sure the phone's on?

Marshmallow: Uh-Huh, when it rings, it goes like this... [imitates ringing]

Grandpa Lemon: Huh? What?

Pear: It's the phone! Pick up the phone! Quick! It could be Orange! Pick it up! Quick!

Orange: Big money, big money, big money, big money, big money, big money...

Banana: Stop doing that!

Orange: No whammies! (laughs) (buzzer rings)

(audience laughs)

Apple Trebek: And that's why you're in last place.

Orange: (laughs)

Apple Trebek: Pineapple has the lead, but the board belongs to you, Banana.

Banana: Umm, ok, I'll take--

Orange: Hey, Banana! You should buy a vowel!

(audience laughs)

Banana: Oh yeah? Well you should shut your (censored).

(audience laughs)

Apple Trebek: Oh thank goodness! You know what that sound means?

Orange: It's time to motorboat! (imitates motorboat, while shaking)

Apple Trebek: Good Lord, no! Motor-- no! It's time for the Final Fruit!

M.G.: It's the Final Fruit!

Apple Trebek: This next question will determine tonight's winner. And given the scores, it probably won't be the orange.

Orange: You're an apple.

(screen closes up on the Final Fruit question)

Apple Trebek: Table, butterfly, and bread are all types of what? Let's start with--

Orange: Hey, hey, hey Apple!

Apple Trebek: What, Orange? What is it? What is your answer?

Orange: Knife!

Apple Trebek: Sorry, that's, uh--- (buzzer indicates correct answer) Wow! That's actually right!

(audience laughs)

(applause)

Apple Trebek: (chuckles) I guess nobody saw that one coming! (knife slices Apple Trebek)

(audience screams)

Orange: Well! At least it wasn't the lightning round!

Johnny: Did someone say lightning round?

Orange: Uh-oh.

(Apple Trebek is zapped by lightning) (audience screams)