Annoying Orange Saw/Transcript

(The title appears in an old movie opening away, "ANNOYING SAW", then the title appears. Then the light flickers, revealing Orange in a strange room, attached to a strange contraption.)

Orange: Whoa! Where am I? Wha-what's this thing is hooked up to?

(A screen turns on, showing Jigsaw the Puppet from the Saw films)

Orange: Ew! Who's that?

Jigsaw: Hello, Orange. I want to play a game.

(Then, creepy music stops and the record scratches. The music turns to the theme.)

Orange: A game? Okay! Let's play Go Fish!

Jigsaw: What? No.

Orange: How about Chutes and Ladders?

Jigsaw: No, you don't get to pick the game.

Orange: Why not?

Jigsaw: That's not how this works.

Orange: Why?

Jigsaw: Because...now just...listen!

Orange: Why?

Jigsaw: Because I said so!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Okay! Geez, who crapped in your cornflakes?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: (Sighs) Alright. Now, Orange, so far you've made a living annoying people. Society would call you a nuisance. I would call you an abomination.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Yeah. And I'd call you Clownface! (Laughs)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: What?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: You look somebody smeared mashed potatoes on a mime! (Laughs)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: That's enough!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: You're kinda emo, aren't you?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: No! I'm not emo!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: You're an emo clown! (Laughs)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: (Growls) Listen! The device you are attached is a death trap. It's hooked up to a timer. If you do not locate the key in time, you will...

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: (With the key right next to him) you mean this key right here?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: What the? Where did you get that?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: I don't know.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: That's just great! You're totally ruining the game!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Your game sucks. Let's play Yahzee.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: I hate Yahzee.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Jenga?!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: No!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Do you like Backgammon?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: Oh my god you're annoying! That's it! I'm moving on to Eggplant.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">(The camera zooms out, revealing Eggplant next to Orange.)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Whoa! It's Barney!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Eggplant: Uh, yeah, dude, I'm not Barney.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: Hello, Eggplant.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Hey! Hey, Barney! Can I teach you a song?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: No!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Eggplant: Hey, I'm not Barney! Dude, is this part of the torture or what?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: No! This is not how it usually happens.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: (singing to the tune of "This Old Man")

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">I'm an orange.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">That's a key,

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">There's an emo clown on TV. (Laughs)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">(Jigsaw sighs angrily)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Eggplant: Do I look like a giant purple dinosaur? I'm an eggplant!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: You look like a potato with bad circulation! (Laughs)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw: That's it! I swear to God! I'm so done with this crap! Why did I think it was a good idea?! (TV turns off)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Hey! Hey! (Singing)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">I'm an orange,

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">You're not me;

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Jigsaw has to take a pee! (Laughs)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Eggplant: Oh, shut up!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Hey, Potato!

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Eggplant: What?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Death trap.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Eggplant: Huh?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">(Eggplant screams as the death trap slices him in half)

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">Orange: Aw. Poor Potato. He never "saw" that one coming. (Laughs, then sighs) How do I get out of here?

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt">(An orange background appears with Orange asking the Fruity Question of the Day: "If you could pick anyone for me to annoy, who will you pick, and why?")