User blog:Knife!/The Short Cut - Magazine - 24/5/2011

'''Welcome to 'The Short Cut', an online magazine created by the self-proclaimed 3rd best member: [http://annoyingorange.wikia.com/wiki/User:Knife! Knife!] behind Brainulator9 and MHLU. This will give you updates on things I like so mainly WWE, association football and sometimes the odd Annoying Orange. Ok, lets get started'''

WWE
Sorry, but all I have to offer you on WWE terms is the latest Power 25:
 * 1) John Cena
 * 2) Randy Orton
 * 3) Christian
 * 4) The Miz
 * 5) Sin Cara
 * 6) Rey Mysterio
 * 7) R-Truth
 * 8) Big Show & Kane
 * 9) Kofi Kingston
 * 10) Cody Rhodes
 * 11) Sheamus
 * 12) Ezekiel Jackson
 * 13) Kharma
 * 14) Jerry Lawler
 * 15) Alberto Del Rio
 * 16) Michael Cole
 * 17) CM Punk
 * 18) Mason Ryan
 * 19) Kelly Kelly
 * 20) Dolph Ziggler
 * 21) The Corre
 * 22) Jack Swagger
 * 23) The Great Khali
 * 24) Ted DiBiase
 * 25) Brie Bella

Association Football
Sorry to all you Blackpool fans, you've been relegated after a 4-2 loss to the Red Devils (Manchester United). Here is what the table resulted in:

Now, I have decided to give out fake awards (they aren't proper awards)

Over-performers: '''Man. City''': I didn't want to do it but they had to. Last season they beat their record for highest league position with 5th place. Now they're 3rd place and will be contesting the Champions League

Under-performers: Birmingham: I certainly didn't expect them to be relegated. Personally, I had them tipped for a top 10 finish! What happened to that form?

Best player: Javier Hernandez: He's got the Manchester United fans chanting 'Chicarito' in the streets of Manchester. One more legend season like that he'll be in contract talks for a £40 million move to Real Madrid!

The Wall
Welcome to a new section called 'The Wall'. This is where stuff like jokes and user comments will appear. No user comments will be featured in this magazine

Top 3 Jokes of the Week  Knife!'s Prank of the Week 
 * A man walks into a bar. Ouch
 * I was driving to Disneyland. On the road I saw a sign saying 'Disneyland Left'. I cried and turned back
 * I was walking past some houses and saw a guy pouring something around his house. I went over and said, 'What are you doing?' So he replied, 'Pouring elephant powder'. In confusion I replied, 'But there are no elephants!?' With a smile on his face he replied, 'Then the elephant powder is working!'
 * 1) Buy 4 pigs
 * 2) Paint them 1, 2, 3 and 5
 * 3) Release them at the nearest crowded place
 * 4) Let them catch them
 * 5) Laugh as you watch them looking for No. 4