Annoying Orange: Fake 'N Bacon/Transcript

Orange: Hey! Hey, Banana! Hey, Banana, hey!

Fake Banana: Are you talking to me?

Fake Apple: Duh. Of course he's talking to you.

Fake Orange: Because you're a banana, remember?

Fake Banana: Oh, totally. I forgot.

Orange: A banana that's forgetting she's a banana? That's bananas! [laughs]

Pear: Orange, they're not really fruit.

Orange: What? You mean they're vegetables?

Pear: No. I mean they're not real. Look at their skin. It's all shiny. They're obviously plastic.

Orange: I think you mean "spastic." [laughs]

Fake Banana: And then Stacey was like, "OMG, your boyfriend is a total zucchini-head."

Fake Orange: OMG, like, what did you do?

Fake Banana: I reacted like any real fruit would, because I'm a real fruit.

Stacey: So am I.

Fake Orange: We are real fruits.

Fake Banana: Did everyone hear? We're real fruits.

Orange: More like "fo-real." [laughs]

[Title card]

Fake Banana: Do you know how many calories are in one orange?

Stacey: Probably like, too many to count.

Fake Banana: Correct.

Orange: Hey! Hey, fake banana!

Fake Banana: How many times do I have to tell you? I'm a real banana.

Orange: Sorry, it must've "slipped" my mind. [laughs]

Fake Banana: Ugh! This orange is starting to get on my nerves.

Stacey: Uh--unless real fruits don't have nerves.

Fake Banana: Right, in which case, forget everything I just said.

Orange: Fake banana, hey, fake banana!

Fake Banana: What do you want?

Orange: Orange you glad I said "banana"? [laughs]

Fake Banana: No. Not at all, actually.

Orange: Hey! Hey, fake fruits! Hey!

Fake fruits: What?!

Orange: Fruit flies.

Stacy: Ah! No! Flies! Ugh, stay away!

Fake Orange: Ah! Oh no! Please stop.

Stacey: Yeah, we're, like, uh, totally totally scared of fruit flies.

Fake Banana: [woodenly] Stop it, stop. Oh.

[Fruit flies cough]

Orange: Woah! They're dropping likes flies! [laughs]

Fake Banana: Yeah because... that's what flies do.

Fake Orange: Because they are real flies and we are real fruits grown from real plants.

Orange: Yeah, manufacturing plants. [laughs]

Stacey: [scoffs] Just ignore him. Winners like us don't have time for losers like him.

Orange: You guys win? I thought you tie.

Stacey: Tie?

Orange: Yeah, it says right there. "Made in Thailand." Get it? you tie. [laughs]

Fake Orange: Stacey, your stamp is showing.

Stacey: OMG, OMG!

Fake Banana: Stace, get it together. You're totally letting us down. [pop!, others scream]

Orange: Woah! Talk about an eye sore. [laughs]

Fake Banana: These things happen to real fruits.

Stacey: Uh-huh, they totally do.

Fake Orange: I, too, am a real fruit. [pop!, others scream]

Orange: Nah, I think you guys are just trying to save face. [laughs]

[Fake banana groans]

Orange: Hey look, I'm a fake fruit cyclops, too. Grr! [laughs]

Fake Banana: I am not gonna tell you again. We are real!

Orange: Oh, well, I guess you're not 'real' scared of what day it is, then, huh?

Fake Banana: and what day would that be?

Orange: Recycling day.

[Suspenceful music plays as Daneboe puts the fake fruits and the dead fruit flies in the trash can]

Orange: Ugh! Talk about taking out the trash. [laughs]

[1 week later]

Orange: Hmm... you look familiar.

[The fake fruits are turned into a Piggy bank]

Fake Banana: I can't believe we were recycled in to a pig.

Fake Orange: Do you know how many calories are in a pig?

Orange: I guess you must've had some "plastic" surgery. [laughs]

[Fake banana groans]

Orange: Hey! Hey, Fake N' Bacon. Hey, fake n' Bacon, hey.

Fake Banana: What?!

Orange: Hammer!

[DaneBoe smashes the piggy bank with his hammer.]

Orange: Ugh! Talk about plastic explosives. [laughs]

AK-40 [Beeping]: Hey! Did someone say "plastic explosives"?

Orange: Uh-oh.

Pear: [groans] Why is everything always exploding?

[Kaboom!]