Annoying Orange: No More Mr. Knife Guy/Transcript

Orange: Um... Wait. Run that by me one more time.

Ginger: I've already told you like a thousand times. Why don't you believe me?

Orange: Well, you are... you know...

Ginger: A ginger?

Orange: Yeah.

Ginger: Well, gingers have souls.

Orange: Nuh-uh.

Ginger: Do so.

Orange: Nope, you're thinking of nutmeg.

Ginger: Ginger!

Orange: No.

Ginger: Yes!

Orange: No.

Pear: No? What do you mean, "no"?

Ginger: Who said that?

Orange: Hold on a second. I gotta take this. What's going on, Pear?

Pear: This stupid game isn't working. It's not giving me a Yahtzee.

Orange: That's not Yahtzee.

Pear: It's not?

Orange: No, it's Scrabble.

Pear: It's not Scrabble, Orange.

Ginger: (groaning)

Orange: It isn't chess, is it?

Pear: No.

Orange: Is it Connect 4?

Pear: Connect 4? Really?

(Ginger screams and gets cut up by Daneboe's knife)

Orange: It kind of looks like Connect 4.

Pear: It's not Connect 4!

Orange: It's got to be Chutes and Ladders.

Pear: No.

(Daneboe puts down his knife, revealing his face)

Orange: Ooh, I know. It's checkers.

Pear: No, it's not.

Orange: Jenga?

Pear: No, it's not Jenga.

Orange: Oh, I know. Hey, let's ask ginger. Hey, hey Ginger! (gasps)

Knife: Hey, dudes! This, umm, isn't what it looks like.

Orange and Pear: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(title card shows)

Peter Coffin: (singing) No more Mr. Knife Guy

Now he's real slick

He's got sheen!

Knife: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not gonna hurt you, little guy!

Orange: Yeah, tell that to Ginger!

Knife: Is that who this was? Man, poor little fellow was really juicy.

Orange: Yeah, but it's not like he had a soul. (laughing)

Knife: What are you talking about? The dude was here, and now he's not. That's awful!

Orange: Actually, thanks to you, he's here and there. (laughing)

Knife: Dude, that is not funny.

Orange: You're a real cut-up, you know that? (laughing)

Knife: Well, I know what this looks like, but just because I'm a razor sharp strip of stainless steel doesn't mean I want hurt anybody.

Orange: Wow, I never seen the side of you before. (laughing)

Knife: I'm telling you, Orange, it's lonely been a knife. Every time I get close to someone, they wind up getting cut in half. Do you know what that's like?

Orange: Umm...

Knife: This one time I julienned a tuna can in three seconds flat. It was awful.

Orange: Geez, sounds like you're really on edge. (laughing)

Knife: What's so funny about that?

Orange: I guess you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are ya? (laughing)

Knife: Buddy, don't even get me started on those guys.

Other Knife: If my atomic number is 56, then my name is what?

Two knives: Barium!

Other Knife: Very good. No more easy ones, guys. Now, if a train leaves Baltimore...

Orange: Wow, and I thought you were dull. (laughing)

Knife: Dull?! Who said I'm dull?

Orange: I did, just now.

Knife: Not so loud, man! Do you know what happens to a dull knife?

Orange: He goes on a lot of first dates? (laughing)

Knife: No, dude! He gets a little visit from... the Sharpener!

Orange: Ooh, is he like the Equalizer?

Knife: No! The Sharpener is harder than a rock... and you know what he does?

Sharpener: He sharpens little fools like you!

Knife: Who said that?!

Orange: Wasn't me!

Pear: Me either!

(pannel moves)

Pear: Oh, come on! That was totally a Yahtzee!

Knife: It wasn't me!

Orange: What about him?

Knife: No!

Orange: Sharpener!

Knife: Not again!

Sharpener: What's wrong, little guy? Think I'm gonna rub you the wrong way? Ha ha ha ha ha!

Knife: No! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

(Daneboe rubbed Knife in the sharpener)

Orange: Whoa!

Knife: THAT HURTS!!!!!

(Knife screams)

Sharpener:Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Orange: That guy really knows how to make a point. (laughs) Ooh, ow.

Sharpener: Now that was a close shave! (cackles evilly)

Orange: Wow, I almost feel bad for Knife. Geez.

Pear: Hey, I think I finally got this stupid thing working.

Orange: Hey, what's goin' on, Pear?

Pear: I think it's trying to tell us something, Orange.

(panel moving)

Orange: Whoa, what the—G-I-N-G-- Ohh! Ohh! It's spelling "Jenga."

(panel with lights moving, warping music plays)

Orange: What's going on?

(Ginger's souls appeared)

Ginger: See? I told you gingers have souls! Suck it, Orange!

Orange and Pear: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The scene cuts to Orange asking the Fruity Question of the day, No more Mr. Knife Guy plays)

Peter Coffin: No more Mr. Knife Guy

He needs sharpening

No more Mr. Knife Guy

Now he's real slick

He's got steel

(video ends)