Annoying Orange: Comedy Clubbing/Transcript

(Sitcom Music Playing, Camera Zooms in on theater marquee. Text says: Stand-up comedy: Marty Meatball; Chatterbox Championship)

Marty: Boy, oh boy, let me tell you about my ex-wife! My Ex-wife wanted to be an actress, but i'll tell you, she was so ugly, she couldn't get a part as a hot dog! (symbal crash) Hey all!

Pear: (with Marty telling jokes in the background): Man, this is so exiting! I've been dying to come to this comedy club!

Midget Apple: Yeah! Me too!

Orange: Whoa! Midget Apple!

Midget Apple: That's Little Apple!

Orange: What are you doing back there?

Midget Apple: I'm trying to watch the show, but you're blocking my view!

Orange: Maybe that's why they call it "stand-up!"

(Orange and Pear both laugh)

Midget Apple: (groans)

Marty: She's stupid, too! You wanna know how stupid? She thought a sirloin was a knight. (laughs)

Orange: Was that supposed to be funny?

Pear: Just give him a chance, OK?

Marty: Oh, is she a lousy driver! Just last week, she T-Bone'd my car! (cymbal crash)

(Crickets Chirping)

Orange: I dunno why we have to come to This place to laugh. I'm way funnier than this meatball.

Marty: Hey, Doo-Da Dip, zip the lip!

Orange: Hey, Doo-Da Daff, make me laugh! (laughs)

Pear: Dude, knock it off! Now he's gonna pick on us!

Marty: All right, looks like we got another comedian here, folks! What's your name, huh? Bozo? (cymbal crashes and laughs)

Orange: I'm not a Bozo, I'm an orange!

Marty: Well, thanks a lot, Captain Obvious! (cymbal crashes and laughs)

Orange: No problem, Major Meatball! (laughs)

Marty: Oh, so you want to see a joke, huh? Quick, somebody get this guy a mirror! (cymbal crash and laughs)

Orange: Really, that's all ya got?

Marty: Hey, what about yer little buddy there?

Midget Apple: That's Little Apple!!!

Marty: Not you, munchkin! The other guy.

Pear: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Leave me out of this!

Marty: Boy, does this guy need some excercise! He's looking a little Pear Shaped! (cymbal crash)

Pear: Dude, I am a pear!

Marty: Yeah, a pair of jokers! (symbal crash and laughs)

Orange: Wow! Did you ever notice that Meatball's a real ham-burger? (laughs and cymbal crash)

Marty: Orange, you are so stupid, you thought photosynthesis had somethin' to do with a camera! (cymbal crash)

Orange: Yea, well you're so dumb, you tried to go fishing in a gravy boat! (laughs and cymbal crash)

Midget Apple: (groans) Can we go home now?

Orange: ''What? ''You guys don't wanna leave already, do you?

(Pear and Midget Apple Simeltaneously): Yes!!

Marty: Why don't you make like a hockey stick and get the puck outta here? (cymbal crash)

Orange: But I'm totally winning! This guy's deat meat! (laughs) (cymbal crash)

Marty: Ah, whatever, Orange! I'm the one RIND-ing you down! (laugh and cymbal crash)

Orange: Hey, hey Meatball!

Marty: What?

Orange: Hey! Can I call you Chuck?

Marty: Uh... okay.

Orange: Hey, Chuck! Hey, hey Chuck!

Marty: What do you want now?

Orange: Guess what?

Marty: What?

Orange: Spatula!

(Spatula drops and flattens a screaming Marty.)

All: Whoa!

Orange: Talk about a patty pooper! (laughs and cymbal crash)

(Spatula lifts Flat Marty. Screen switches to Daneboe's kitchen. Spatula drops Chuck on a Frying Pan. Marty gets fried, screaming in pain)

Pear: Ooh!!

Orange: What's that? I can't hear you! You're delivery's a little flat! (Laughs and cymbal crash)

(Hand takes the Frying Pan, with Marty in it, now a hamburger, still screaming in pain)

Midget Apple: Ouch, that looks like it hurt!

Pear: Jeez, all I wanted to do is laugh! What a let-down!

Midget Apple: I'll say! I've been staring at Orange's butt all night!

Orange: Aww, poor Meatball! His show really got panned! (Laughs and cymbal crash)

(Pear and Midget Apple join in)

Orange: I guess Marty Meatball was all sizzle and no steak! (laughs)

(Again, Pear and Midget Apple join in)

Orange: You guys believe he had a beef with me?

(All laugh simeltaneously)

Midget Apple: Yeah! Spatula was all like, "Can me have a cheeseburger?" (Laughs)

(Record scratches, crickets start chirping)

(Soon, all laugh)

(the credits roll as The Fruity Question of the Day is presented: Who's funnier: Marty Meatball or Annoying Orange?)

Orange: Hey! Hey, Midget Apple! You should tell another one of your short jokes!

Midget Apple: That's little joke!