Annoying Orange: Best Fiends Forever/Transcript

Orange: Hey! Hey, Rhubarb! Hey, Rhubarb, hey!

Celery: Uh, I'm not actually Rhubarb.

Orange: Hey, Rhubarb, are you on the clock?

Celery: What?

Orange: 'Cause I heard you get paid celery. [laughs]

Celery: Uh, I am Celery and either you quit calling me Rhubarb or I'm going to stop listening.

Orange: Whatever. You're all stalk and no action action. [laughs]

Celery: Not listening to you! See how easy it is? Real piece of cake.

Grapefruit: [Music changes to Grapefruit's music] Cake? More like rhubarb pie. [chuckles]

Orange: Oh great, it's Apefruit. What do you want?

Grapefruit: What? It's a free kitchen. I can hang out if I want to.

Orange: Why don't you make friends at your own house?

Grapefuit: What? Didn't Midget Munchkin give you the memo?

Orange: Memo? What's a memo?

Midget Apple: It's a little message, and I'm a Little Apple!

Marshmallow: Yay! You got mail!

Orange: Ooh, what does it say? Am I a millionaire?

Midget Apple: [clear throat] "Yo, yo, yo, listen up, dilweeds!"

Orange: We are listening. Just read the letter.

Midget Apple: I am reading the letter!

Orange: Forget it! Just skip to the memo!

Midget Apple: [growls] "All you lame-Os better watch your P's and mind your Q's. The greatest fruit of all fruitdom is moving into the kitchen. Sincerely, Grapefruit."

Grapefruit: [chuckles] Hey roomie, wanna rassle for the top bunk?

[Title card rolls in]

Grapefruit: After that, I usually hit the stair step to bulid some cardio then go grab a good sweat in the sauna to loosen up the muscles.

Celery: Wait, so who is this chap?

Midget Apple: Oh, that's Grapefruit. He had the hots for Passion Fruit, and then he got chopped up.

Celery: Chopped up?

Midget Apple: Uh-huh. By a big knife!

Marshmallow: Ooh-ooh, and then he got turned into a monster!

Celery: I've got to get out of here.

Grapefruit: Oh, shut up your pie-hole, rhubarb! [laughs]

Orange: That's like the fourth time you made that joke!

Grapefruit: Hey, just having some fun here, roomie.

Orange: [groans] Hey, hey Celery. Hey Celery hey!

Grapefruit: Whoa-whoa-whoa, you're doing all wrong!

Orange: No, I'm not!

Grapefruit: Yo Celery, guess what?

Celery: [growls] What?!

Grapefruit: Knife!

[Everybody screams except for Grapefruit, but Orange comes to realize that there is actually no knife]

Orange: Hey!

Grapefruit: Psych! [laughs]

Celery: That is not funny, man!

Orange: Yeah, we don't yell knife when there is no knife.

Midget Apple: Not cool, dude.

Grapefruit: Why don't you stop being such a baby baby apple? [laughs]

Midget Apple: That's Little Apple!

Grapefruit: You see what I did there, Orange? I called him baby.

Orange: You're an apple.

Grapefruit: Whoa, looks like you can't teach an old orange new tricks.

Marshmallow: Ooh! I love tricks! Especially when there's bunnies!

Grapefruit: Oh, what's this? A volunteer?

Orange: No, that's Marshmallow.

Grapefruit: Marshmallow, eh? More like cream puff! [laughs]

Midget Apple: Whoa-whoa-whoa, just leave Marshmallow out of this.

Grapefruit: Go bite a bottle, Baby Apple.

Midget Apple: I'm serious, look. Fun's fun, but trust me, you wouldn't like Marshmallow...when's he angry!

Marshmallow: [giggles]

Grapefruit: Oh yeah? Hey, sugar skull.

Marshmallow: Yay! Turn me into a bunny! Turn me into a bunny!

Grapefruit: Bunny? Sorry pal, but you're a "hare" off.

[laughter]

Grapefruit: Okay, that's enough with the laughing!

[Marshmallow laughs again]

Grapefruit: I got another joke here.

Marshmallow: Bunnies!

Grapefruit: Okay...

Marshmallow: Yay!

Grapefruit: Okay, that's enough!

Orange: Better give it up, Grapefruit. Nobody gets Marshmallow's goat.

Marshmallow: [gasps] I have a goat? Yay! I'm gonna feed him lollipops and old tin cans.

Grapefruit: Back off, Orange. I'm picking up where you dropped the ball. [a photo of a unicorn appears next to him] Hey, check it out.

Marshmallow: Oh, that's my picture of Princess Butterflykiss.

Grapefruit: (flicks on a lighter) Yeah, (Puts the lighter in front of the photo) and that's my lighter. (Marshmallow gasps quietly) I heard Marshmallows love a campfire. [laughs]

Marshmallow: (weakly) Princess...Butterfly...kiss?

[Grapefruit continues laughing]

Marshmallow: [growling]

Midget Apple: Oh, that's it. I'm outta here. [whistles] (Grandpa Lemon appears riding on a motocycle) Don't say I didn't warn you.

(Grapefruit keeps laughing)

Midget Apple: Drop the hammer, Grandpa. We gotta catch some speed.

Grandpa Lemon: Geronimo!! (takes off)

Orange: Not a bright idea!

Grapefruit: What? Am I the only one with a sense of humor?

Celery: Guys, something's...something's happening to your friend.

Marshmallow: [growling in rage]

Orange: Whoa! Marshmallow's ready to pop.

[Meanwhile, outside, Grandpa Lemon, who has fallen asleep, and Midget Apple, pull up next to Pear, who is outside on the road wearing a sweat band]

Pear: Hey, guys. What are you doing out here?

Midget Apple: Pear, it's Grapefruit. He-- he--

[the camera zooms in]

Pear: Yeah, I know. Why do you think I went for a hike?

Midget Apple: No, you don't understand. He pushed Marshmallow...too far.

Pear: Well, what's the worst that could happen?

(the camera zooms back out to reveal the house)

Marshmallow: (from inside) NOBODY HURTS PRINCESS BUTTERFLYKISS!

[Suddenly, the house explodes. The windows blow out, with fire leaping from the inside. A hole is blasted through the roof. Grapefruit flies out screaming and lands on the road beside Pear]

Pear and Midget Apple: Whoa!

Orange: (from inside) Ow!

Pear: Oh no, Orange!

Orange: Ow! Oh...

Marshmallow: Uh-oh, did I do that? [giggles]

[end credits show]