Annoying Saw 2: The Annoying Death Trap/Transcript

(A light bulb flickers and Orange finds himself hooked up to a death trap)

Orange: Whoa! This isn't the kitchen. What's going on?

Jigsaw: (Voice only) Hello, Orange.

Orange: Hey, I know that voice!

Jigsaw: (Appearing on the TV screen) I was hoping you and I could play another game.

(Creepy music stops and the record scratches. The theme music begins to play.)

Orange: Yay! It's Emo Clown! Hey, are we gonna play Twister? That's my favorite game.

Jigsaw: No, Orange. The name of this game is Deathtrap.

Orange: Cool! What kind of deathtrap?

Jigsaw: I'm glad you asked.

Orange: Is it a water bed filled with piranhas?

Jigsaw: No.

Orange: Killer bees in a pinata?

Jigsaw: No, that one never works.

Orange: Oooh! Is it a drunk guinea pig with a chainsaw?

Jigsaw: What?

Orange: A drunk guinea pig with a chainsaw!

(The screen rolls to Charlie the Drunk Guinea Pig holding a chainsaw)

Charlie: DIE, YOU BLOODY PERVS! (laughs maniacally)

Jigsaw: No! How did that even get in here?!

Orange: Well? What is it?

Jigsaw: Oh Orange, don't you see? The deathtrap...is you.

(Orange is left momentarily flabbergasted as the title rolls. The creepy music starts up again.)

Orange: But I'm not a deathtrap. I'm an orange.

Jigsaw: No one has ever escaped me, except for you. That's why I have chosen you to become my apprentice.

Orange: Apprentice? Who are you, Donald Trump? (Laughs)

Jigsaw: No. Today, you will help me by annoying my victim to death.

Orange: What are you talking about?

Marshmallow: Whoa! Where am I?

Orange: Whoa!

Jigsaw: Hello, Marshmallow. Want to play a game?

Marshmallow: Oh, yes! I love games!

Jigsaw: Everyone loves games.

Marshmallow: And I love everyone! Yay!

Jigsaw: Yes. All right, Orange. You're time to annoy her to death has come. Now... begin.

Orange: Miss.

(Creepy music stops and the record scratches. The theme music turns on again)

Jigsaw: No. Begin!

Orange: Nope! My turn! B2!

Jigsaw: What?

Orange: B3?

Jigsaw: No!

Orange: B5!

Marshmallow: Hey, you sunk my Battleship! (giggles)

(Orange laughs)

(Jigsaw sighs angrily)

Orange: Hey! Hey, fluffy face! You look like a mini pillow! (Laughs)

Marshmallow: Yeah? Well, you sound like a chipmunk riding a rainbow. (Giggles)

Orange: It's funny 'cause I do. (laughs)

Marshmallow: (giggles)

Jigsaw: Everybody, shut up!

Orange: Jeez! Who cut off Jigsaw's funny bone? (laughs)

Billy: Don't annoy me! Annoy her!

Orange: (Singing to the tune of "This Old Man") I'm an orange. You're a mime. Jigsaw's so boring, it's a crime.

(Marshmallow laughs)

Billy: That's it! I see my apprentice requires for the training. Let this be a lesson, for both of you! (He presses the red button on a remote)

Marshmallow: (As the saw on top tries to slice him in half) WHOOOOA!!

Orange: No! Not squeaky fun guy!

Marshmallow: Oh. That tickles! (Laughs)

Orange: (Laughs)

Billy: Stop laughing!

Marshmallow: That tickles! (Laughs)

Orange: (Laughs) Donald's gonna take another stab at it!

Billy: Come on, you stupid thing! (He keeps pressing the button, trying to activate the deathtrap)

(Marshmallow laughs)

Marshmallow: Do it again! (Giggles) That tickles so much!

Billy: I knew it! I knew this wouldn't work! (Growls) Orange, you're fired!

Orange: Wow, you really are the Donald! (Laughs)

Billy: And you, Marshmallow, you're roasted! (He presses the button and Marshmallow catches on fire)

Marshmallow: WHOOOOOOA! I feel all gooey! (Laughs)

Orange: Marshmallow, you're a real hothead now! (laughs)

Marshmallow: (giggles)

Billy: STOP LAUGHING!

Marshmallow: Whoa, you really lit a fire under me! (Laughs)

Orange: Hey, stop it, Donald! I don't think he can take any "s'more"! (Laughs)

Billy: That's it! I'm out of here! I can't take it anymore! (T.V. turns off) I need to get a new job...

Orange: Hey, where's Jigsaw going? We were just getting warmed up! (Laughs)

Marshmallow: (Laughs)

(screen cuts to a graham cracker and a chocolate bar)

Graham Cracker: Well, thank goodness they scared that guy away. I didn't like where this whole thing was headed.

(Charlie appears)

Charlie, Graham Cracker and Chocolate: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!