Annoying Orange - Kidney Seed Attack!/Transcript

The Kidney Seed
(Open to Grapefruit's room, where the latter is snoring. Pear (wearing teal tile-patterned pajamas) and Little Apple (wearing green pajamas, while holding earplugs) enter the room, tired.)

Little Apple: Right about now, I'm wishing I had ears sjust so I could use these ear plugs.

(A feminine-like scream is heard.)

Grapefruit: (Wakes up, startled.) Huh? What? Huh? What the?

Little Apple: Woah! Did you guys hear that?

Pear: (Turns on the light.) Sounded like a women scream.

Grapefruit: Yeah, and she sounded hot! (Gets out of bed wearing light purple pajamas.) We better check it out.

(All three leave the bedroom and go to the counter, where Orange, who is green, is sitting.)

Grapefruit: Orange, you see any hot ladies come through here?

Orange: Uh...

Grapefruit: Let's split up! I'll go that way. Pear, you go that way. (All three start to leave.) Orange, you--

(...But is immediately interrupted by the scream the three heard., which came from Orange.)

Grapefruit: (Turns around) --or apparently the hot lady. (Sighs.) Not the first time I've been fooled by a sexy voice and it won't be the last.

Pear: Orange, I've never heard you scream like that before.

Orange: (Worried) I've never been in this kind of pain before! (Makes a high-pitched scream.)

Grapefruit: Bro, if you keep screaming like that, you're gonna scare away all the hot ladies that might be lurking about.

Little Apple: (Holding cellphone) I'm calling Dr. Bananas now.

Trying to Cure Orange
Dr. Bananas: (Arrives; with deeper voice) Greetings and hello! I heard the screams of a hot lady who might be in need of medical attention.

Pear: Well, it's just Orange. But he definitely needs help.

Little Apple: Yeah. You can say that again.

Dr. Bananas: I see. Well this news is quite disappointing, as I haven't felt a women's touch since the Reagan administration. (Places a X-ray screen in front of Orange.) But let's take a look inside.

(The X-ray flashes, showing Orange's skeleton. Inside his body is a toy race car and a kidney bean.)

Dr. Bananas: Aha! Just as I suspected: he's got himself a kidney seed!

Pear: Really? 'cuz that looks like a toy race car in his stomach.

Orange: (Through X-ray screen.) What can I say? I like "fast" food. (Burps, then laughs.)

Dr. Bananas: (Holds up the X-ray screen, which now has a picture of Orange's skeleton.) Please ignore the toy car that Orange inexplicably consumed, as well as Orange's excruciating pun. What's causing his pain is this tiny dot right here. (Pulls out a stick and points at the seed on the X-ray picture, only the seed and the toy race car glow.)

Grapefruit: That? (Mockingly laughs.) Bro, you're complaining about that little spec?

Dr. Bananas: Now, Grapefruit, kidney seeds are widely known to be one of the most painful issues a fruit can experience.

Grapefruit: Thi- this is a joke, right? I mean, come on! How can something that small dish cause so much pain?

Little Apple: I'll be happy to show you if you snore again tomorrow night.

Dr. Bananas: Now Orange, don't worry. We have several methods to remove the kidney seed. (Pulls out a knife.) We could remove it surgically with a knife...

Orange: Cool!

Dr. Bananas: (Pulls out a laser gun.) We can blast it to pieces with a laser...

Orange: Wow!

Dr. Bananas: (Pulls out a boombox.) We can blast it into pieces using soudwaves from this boombox...

Orange: How do these options get cooler every time?!

Dr. Bananas: Or the final option (Pulls out a purple box with yellow question marks all around it.) is this mystery box.

Orange: WOW!!!

Pear: Which one is the least invasive, Dr.? I'm sure Orange is also concerned about the cost.

Orange: (Scoffs.) Quiet, Pear! I choose the mystery box! (Dr. Bananas tosses the box to Orange. He opens the box.) Yeah! It's a rubber chicken!

Pear: Orange, how the heck is a rubber chicken supposed to help you with your kidney seed?

Orange: I dunno. Let's find out. (Puts the rubber chicken down.) Okay, he's not helpful, but look at his face! (Laughs.)

Pear: DOC! You gotta go in and remove his seed!

Dr. Bananas: I'm sorry, Pear, but I need patient consent and the patient has selected the rubber chicken method of removal.

Orange: (Laughs while holding the rubber chicken.) Hey! Did you guys see it has a hole down there? (Laughs.)

Pear: Well, at least he seems to be enjoying himself.

Orange: (Continues to laugh, but makes his highest-pitched scream, causing him to fart the kidney seed so powerful, that it cause the seed to rocket out of his butt and ricocheting off the walls.)

Little Apple: Whoa! What happened?!

Dr. Bananas: Orange appears to have laughed so hard he passed his kidney seed! (Cut to the bean ricocheting off the walls.) Hey, look! The seed is ricocheting around the room! It could hit anyone of us at an--

The Cure
(The seed rockets into Grapefruit's kidney.)

Pear: Grapefruit! What happened!?

(Grapefruit starts to turn green.)

Grapefruit: (Strained) I- I think I might have a seed up my... hole down there!

Dr. Bananas: (Slides the X-ray screen in front of Grapefruit.) In a truly ironic turn of events, it appears the seed has lodged itself near Grapefruit's kidney!

Orange: (As he talks, he starts to turn back to normal.) Which is A-OK by him, 'cuz there's no way a little old seed could cause that much pain, right Grapefruit!

Grapefruit: Ha ha, very funny (Shrieks in pain.)

Dr. Bananas: I recommend we remove the seed immediately. Which method do you choose?

Grapefruit: Hmm, this is a really hard decision. Yeah, I gotta go with the mystery box.

Pear: (Furiously) WHAT?!?!

Grapefruit: It could be anything, Pear!

Orange: Yeah! It could even be a knife!

Pear: Am I the only one with any sense around here?!?! There's already a knife right there! Why not just use the knife method?!

Orange: No, KNIFE!

(Knife looms over everyone, mainly Grapefruit.)

Everyone: Huh?

(Everyone screams as Grapefruit jumps to avoid Knife. Luckily, the seed is managed to come out. Gas also starts releasing from Grapefruit.)

Grapefruit: Oh sweet! It removed the-- (He is cut short when he falls in half, revealing that Knife really did cut him in half and screams.)

Little Apple: So I gotta know: did that hurt more, or less tha the kidney seed?

Grapefruit: Would ya shut up and super glue me back together already?!

(The episode ends.)