Annoying Orange: Orange Goes Hollywood/Transcript

Orange: Hey, hey Egghead, hey!

Eggplant: I told you, it's Eggplant!

Orange: What? You can't be an egg and a plant at the same time.

Eggplant: I'm not made of eggs!

Orange: That's over easy for you to say. (laughs)

Eggplant: Man, shut your mouth, man, come on!

Orange: Hey, hey Egghead!

Eggplant: What, what?!

Orange: Knife!

(Dane sliced Eggplant in half)

Eggplant: Ahh!

Orange: Geez, Egghead really got scrambled! (laugh) Ooh, owww.

(The truck appeared, and the corn cobs jumped out of the truck)

Cob #1: Did you see that?

Cob #2: Ah, that was totally--

Cob #1: Brilliant!

Cob #2: Oh yeah, yeah, brilliant!

Orange: Wow, now that's an earful! (laughs)

Cob #1: That's it! The puns, the jokes, the comedic timing, you're perfect!

Orange: Nuh-uh, I'm an orange!

Cob #1: Oh no, you're not.

Orange: I'm not?

Cob #1: You, my friend, are gonna be a star!

(title card)

Pear: Dude, I can't believe they want you to be a movie star!

Midget Apple: Yeah! You think you can get me a part in your movie?

Orange: Okay. But only if it's a "little" part. (laughs)

Midget Apple: (groans) I really set myself up for that one.

Cob #1: Okay, Orange, before we start production on your feature, we need to address a few things.

Orange: Why? Are you sending me fan mail already? (laughs)

Cob #2: (mocking laugh) No. We just need a couple of minor changes.

Orange: Like what?

Cob #1: Well, for starters, the hair.

Orange: You like it? I style it myself. (laughs)

Cob #2: Bieber Fever is the new pandemic, and we know audiences will really respond to a similar 'do!

Cob #1: Here you go, buddy!

(Bieber hair falls on orange)

Orange: Oh, What the?!

Both Cobs: Love it!

Orange: Ugh, It looks like a dog's eating my head.

Cob #1: Now let's work on that voice.

Orange: Okay, (makes dog noises)

Cob #1: (mocking laugh) No!

Cob #2: Our studies indicate that people like British accents more than any other.

Cob #1: Yes! We need a British accent!

Orange: By Jov'e Governor, why didn't you just say so? Cheerio! (laughs)

Cob #2: Oh, that is so great!

Cob #1: Eh, not so much.

Cob #2: That's totally what I was thinking! Maybe we could just dub it!

Cob #1: Oh, we could get Russell Brand!

Both Cobs: Love it!

Orange: I don't know, guys.

Cob #1: Really not feeling this location.

Cob #2: Me either, me either. Oh, I've got it!

Cob #1: What do you got?!

Cob #2: A tropical island!

Orange: You hear that, guys?! We're going to a tropical island. YAAAAAYY!!

(The screen of the tropical island background drops)

Orange: Ohhhh.

Cob #2: Now let's meet your new cast!

Cob #1: Say hello to Broccoli! He's your new bad boy best friend!

Broccoli: Yo, call me "Broc", bro!

Pear: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. I'm Orange's best friend.

Cob 2: Yeah, that's what they all say.

Cob #1 Oh, and check out your new little buddy! It's Russel the Brussel!

Russel: Neato burrito.

Midget Apple: Hey! That's my catchphrase!

Cob #2: Hey, quiet down! I'm trying to introduce the new fruits!

Pear: But those guys aren't even fruits!

Orange: What's the matter, guys? Don't you wanna veg out? (laughs)

(Cob #1 throws sunglasses onto Orange's face)

Orange: Hey!

Cob #1: Oh, those lenses look great!

Cob #2: The hipsters are gonna...

Both Cobs: Love it!

Pear: Oh, come on! Orange, don't you see what's happening here?

Orange: Sort of. But everything looks kinda blurry now.

Midget Apple: (groans) Not the glasses.

Pear: Look, Orange, you're not perfect. But nobody is! We've all got flaws. But that's exactly what makes us special!

Orange: Um... yeah, I guess.

Cob #1: Don't listen to them, Orange. They're just jealous.

Cob #2: Yeah, we're not the bad guys! We're just trying to make you better!

Orange: You're trying to make me butter?

Cob #2: Better!

Orange: Butter?

Cob #1: Better!

Orange: Butter?

Both Cobs: BETTER!!!

Orange: Yeah! Butter!

Both Cobs: Huh?!

(Dane Boedigheimer takes both cobs away and slatters butter on them)

Orange: Aaahh!

Cob #2: Ew!

Cobs: Get it off, get it off, get it off!

Orange: It could be worse. At least it's not margarine. (laughs)

Cob #2: (screams)

Cob #1: Hey, what's wrong with you?! Don't you know who I am?!

Orange: Yeah, you better leave him alone. He's got more kernels than an army. (laughs)

(Dane takes the plate, and he eats the left corn)

Cob #1: Oh God, stop, stop!

Orange: Oh. Well, I guess that means there won't be a sequel.

Pear: Ah, don't get down on yourself, Orange. Besides, I don't think being a star is all it's cracked up to be.

(car and music noises)

Pear: What the... Little Apple?!

Midget Apple: What?! I didn't hear anybody call dibs!

(Midget Apple and Orange laugh)

(End rolls)