Annoying Orange: Pain-apple/Transcript

(The title card is shown)

Orange: (offscreen) Orange, orange, orange, orange, orange.

(The screen cuts to Orange)

Orange: What rhymes with orange? Hmmmmm...

(The screen cuts to Dane Boedigheimer placing Pineapple on the counter)

Pineapple: Hey hey, watch the hair, bud! It took me months to get it to look like this!

Orange: Whoa, What are you?

Pineapple: Oh hey. I'm a Pineapple.

Orange: What? You don't look like an Apple.

Pineapple: Well I'm-I'm not. I'm an Pineapple.

Orange: (Chuckles) Why the long face? (Laughs)

Pineapple: That's rude. I'm a Pineapple.

Orange: You're a half-apple. Like an apple crossed with a pine tree. (laughing)

Pineapple: No, that's not how it works.

Orange: What with those knives on your head?

Pineapple: That's my hair.

Orange: Oh, so it's there?

Pineapple: Where?

Orange: Hair.

Pineapple: What?

Orange: There. Hair.

Pineapple: Yes, that-that's what I said. What-What are you doing?

Orange: There rhymes with hair! (laughs)

Pineapple: OK, stop.

Orange: So does air, and bear, care...

Pineapple: OK, stop, that's getting really annoying.

Orange: ...stare, mare, fair...

Pineapple: Stop, stop, stop!

(Orange laughs)

Pineapple: You know what else rhymes with hair? Nair, and it looks like you're very familiar with it, baldy!

(record scratches)

Orange: Wow, you really are an apple.

Pineapple: I am not! I'm a pineapple! I'm not even related! I don't grow on trees...

Orange: You're an apple!

Pineapple: (growls) GOD, YOU ARE SO IRRITATING!

Orange: I'm not irritating, I'm an orange!

(Pineapple groans)

Orange: Hey Apple!

Pineapple: I'm not, talking to you.

Orange: Knife.

Pineapple: I already told you this, these are not knives.

Orange: No, knife!

Pineapple: This is my hair. I spiked 'em up to look cool, and it's something you can't do, because you are...

(Daneboe uses the knife to violently slicing Pineapple's hair and flies it over to Orange)

Orange: Woah! Look who's the Baldy now!

(Pineapple screams)

Orange: Pineapple? Looks more like Pain-apple! (laughs) Ow.

(The screen turns black. Then it opens again showing Daneboe put a plate of pineapple circles on the counter, with Pineapple as one of them.)

Orange: (laughs)

Pineapple: Someone please help me.

Orange: Hey Apple! I don't mean to stare, but you're looking worse for wearing! (laughs)

Pineapple: Orange, you are sick.

Orange: Oh, You know what else rhymes with hair? You do, Pear!

(The screen shifts to reveal Pear next to Orange.)

Pear: Leave me out of this.