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Transcript



-(Kevin) Okay, so the squirrel's looking at me and he says,

"Nuts? Ha-ha-ha! Buddy, you're insane, you're insane!"

Man: (laughing)

Man: No, true story, true story, but um--That's-- that's not why we're here tonight. You guys hear about this video? It's, uh, pretty scary stuff.

Man: Wait, is that the one where the guy sniffs gorilla glue?

Woman: No-no-no, it's the one where the girl kills all those eggs.

Man: No-no-no, it's the one where the guy does taxes with his cat, right?

Man: No... no, this is a different kind of video, okay? You watch this video and then you get phone call from a guy and there's a voice on the other end and he tells you something and then, seven days later, something bad happens to you.

-(all) Whoa!

Man: So...

You guys wanna watch it?

Man: Yeah.

(static buzzing eerily)

Orange: (sighs) I'm hungry.

(chewing noisily)

Hey, it's see-food! (laughs)

(dog barking)

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la... ♪

(groans, coughing)

(oranges laughing)

Onion Ring: (screams)

(Orange laughs)

Man: Well, that sucked.

(laughter)

(phone ringing)

(beep)

man: Hello?

(Orange laughs)

Hello.

-(Orange) Seven days. (laughs)

man: What happens in seven days?

-(Orange) You're an onion ring.

(laughs eerily)

(dial tone)

Man: Who was that? What did they say?

Man: I think he just called me... An onion ring.

(Seven Days later)

Man: And then the squirrel says, "Nuts? Buddy, you are insane!" Yeah-ha-ha-ha, oh... Oh, God. I love that joke.

Man: Dude, seriously? You know what time it is, right?

Man: Ooh...

Time for a, uh, 'nother video?

Woman: It's been exactly seven days.

Man: Exactly.

Woman: Don't you remember the phone call?

Man: Oh, yeah...

Ah, I wouldn't worry about that.

Not a big... thing.

(dog snorting)

Woman: Oh, my God!

Man: Guys, easy. It's just my dog, Big Papi.

Man: Uh, Bobby, why is your dog eating an onion?

Man: 'Cause I'm out of cantaloupe. This guy serious?

(Orange laughs)

Woman: What was that?

(static buzzing)

Man: All right, who's got the remote?

Orange: Hey! (laughs)

Man: Oh, my God.

Orange: (laughing creepily)

You guys don't mind if I drop in, do ya?

(all scream)

Hey! Hey, onion rings!

Hey! Hey, onion rings! Hey!

Onion rings? Hey!

Hey, onion rings!

-(all) What?

-Which one of you is the ringleader?

(laughs, onion rings groan)

Oh, you're not laughing.

Onion Ring: Well, this sucks.

Onion Ring: Hey Orange,

Why don't you just stop saying stupid puns and change us back?

Orange: Because... I like having you a-round.

(laughs, onion rings groan)

Hey, hey onion rings!

Onion Ring: What?

Orange: Pitbull.

(all scream)

Captioned by SpongeSebastian