|"We could really use a "little" help around here."|
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|Played by||Dane Boedigheimer|
|Friends||Orange (one sided)|
|Enemies||Orange (one sided), Monster Burger|
|Death||Eaten by a monster burger|
|First Appearance||Monster Burger!|
Hamburger was a character who appeared in Monster Burger!. He was mistaken by Orange for a monster, which is why he kept spitting seeds and shooting at him. Hamburger kept trying to tell him that he wasn't a monster, but Orange was convinced again when he said he was made of lettuce, cheese, and tomatoes. Toward the end of the episode, he was eaten by an actual monster burger.
- He is somewhat moody and bad tempered.
- He returns in Crappy Captioned 6: Monster Burger, reenacting his debut episode with Orange with faulty Google automatic captions. Unlike the original episode, he does not die, like Apple in the first Crappy Captioned.
- He's the first burger character in the series
- He's also the second character that Orange called him a monster the first was Watermelon
- "Hey, get your paws off me, mister!"
- "Oh, hey, what's up?"
- "Yeah. Not a monster. Hamburger."
- "Ugh, gross! Are you seriously spitting seeds at me right now?!"
- "Destroy the what?
- "Agh! How does an orange have a gun?"
- "HEY! STOP IT!"
- "Okay, are we calm now? Can we just talk like normal -- [gets shot by Orange] KNOCK IT OFF!"
- "Jeez, what is WITH you?!"
- "I'm not a monster, I'm a hamburger!"
- "I'm not a monster! Cripes, is this how you treat all your guests - scream, call 'em names, and then shoot at 'em?!"
- "(scoffs) Yeah, I'm sure."
- "Bro, I'm a HAM-BURGER. How many times do I have to tell you?
- "Puns? Really?"
- "Ugh, those puns don't even make sense - I'm made of beef, not ham!"
- "(mimics Orange laughing) SHUT IT!!! Listen, if I have to tell you one more time that I'm not a monster, I'm gonna hit you so hard, Chuck Norris would be impressed!"
- "YOU WERE THE ONE SHOOTING ME WITH A GUN!!!"
- "Self-de-- oh good LORD, you're annoying!"
- "Let me guess: Orange! Ha! Freaking hilarious! Yeah!"
- "I told you! HAMBURGER! Meat, then I got a bunch of lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and other stuff in here!"
- "No, I didn't actually eat your--"
- "STOP, STOP, STOP!!!"
- "STOP SHOOTING ME!"
- "I didn't eat your friends! Just because I'm made of these things doesn't mean that I ate them!! I'm not a monster!!! Just a HAMBURGER! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK PEEL!!!"
- "What?! WHAT IS IT?!"
- "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR PEEL OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR -- AAHH!!!
- "OH, THE IRONY! AGH, IT'S KILLING ME!!! AGH!!"
- "Fact! Because of me mister."
- "Away, What's up?"
- "Dollar scary! AAAGGGHHHHH!!!!"
- "Yeah. Now to book: Hamburger."
- "AHKTAR LIGHTS!"
- "Just how you treat all your guest? Scream, column names, shoot up!"
- "I star no a monster told you. Hamburger."
- "Third EYE!" [listens to Third Eye Blind's Semi-Charmed Life and dances]
- "Brawl! [fights Orange in a fantasy anime fashion] I'm back. HAM burger. How many times do I have to tell you?"
- "Park don't even make sense."
- "If I have to tell you one more time -- and I'm not a monster, I'm great! You saw our truck dark be a brat!
- "I can actually hear!"
- "Just because I am doesn't mean tap. Oscar just lather. Now, from an!"
- "Now the bank cell got more during toy!"
- "I told you hamburger mate! Then I got a bunch left. Change the males, another step in here."
- "Or your honor, for all!"